I’m doing OK, I guess. Mainly because I had a lie-in and then spent a couple of hours doing lots of offline work that didn’t need any internet access at all. I’m not taking part, beyond having this blog hosted on WordPress.com (who are), and agreeing with the strikers.

Let’s get one thing straight: SOPA and PIPA, the legislative acts that are being proposed, are not only muddled, wrong-headed and overly punitive, but they could have the perverse effect of making the internet more dangerous for ordinary users by potentially breaking the DNS system. And that should terrify everyone, not just US citizens.

ICANN, the body that basically manages the internet, is based in the United States. It has to adhere to US law. Google, Wikipedia, Reddit, many other of those websites striking today are in the same position. Just because they have a global reach doesn’t mean that their size will protect them from what’s going on on their home turf. This is despite the fact that the US by no means makes up the majority of global internet users, despite the power of Silicon Valley.

Should the rest of us be worried? Obviously. If the websites that we have come to rely on (no matter how incidentally) become vulnerable to malicious and vindictive regulation, it affects not only their US users, but their global audience. So what is to be done? Well, aside from encouraging everyone to move to Iceland, which is planning to position itself as a bastion of internet freedom, we can fight for internet freedom on our own turf. We have to agitate against action we see being taken that might undermine internet freedom elsewhere.

Above all, we must support those who are willing to take a stand, whether or not it causes us a minor inconvenience for a few hours. So lobby your local politicians, threaten to move your domains if your webhost looks wobbly, and join the virtual picket against shoddy lawmaking.

[Image by Steve Rhodes]

The fact is, the internet is (for now) more open than ever, giving everyone the opportunity to “speak their brains” on any topic they fancy. Now, I’m not demanding they be experts, but is a science article really the best place to start railing against the government? Does your personal anecdote mean that there is a worldwide police conspiracy to issue as many parking tickets as possible?

Don’t get me wrong; there are comments on blog and newspaper articles that are on-topic, articulate and can help to move a discussion forward. Unfortunately, they are outweighed by the sheer volume of rushed, ill-considered invective because some people insist on shoehorning their personal prejudices and bugbears into their comment, whether they have read the article or not. This can happen anywhere, but is especially apparent on US political websites at the moment. I know it’s an election year, but I don’t think 2012 will be won or lost by how many times people can accuse “Obummer” of being a Kenyan* socialist.

Perhaps the freedom of commenting has led to a coarsening in tone. It’s a well-observed phenomenon that people will be far ruder when they are anonymous than they would ever be in person, with a few exceptions for the clinically obnoxious. Freedom of speech is a wonderful thing, and I don’t want to shut anyone up. They’d only come back shriller and more hysterical than ever. What I would like to see is a raising of tone, an improvement in standards, and that is the responsibility of website owners.

Weak, irrelevant comments should be treated the same way as spam. No really, I mean it. If somebody can only provide a “LOLwut?” to a lengthy piece on FGM, that comment doesn’t need to be displayed. When a comment wants to talk about military recruitment underneath an article on deficit reduction, that’s off-topic and can be sent to the trash bin.

Is this censorship? No. People are free to comment, provided their comments are on-topic and substantive. If they want to, they can start a blog of their own to put across their own point of view. Nobody’s rights are being violated; there is no guaranteed right to be a jackass on the internet. This is a plea, a plea to site owners and moderators to pay more attention to quality control on their properties. Not every comment has to go through. Sift for quality, banish the stupid, and send them to belm into the void elsewhere.

*Seriously people, what is up with that? Even with changes to the Kenyan Constitution, the man remains as Kenyan as a Smurf.

[Image by DragonAssBabe]

It already didn’t look as though 2012 would be a banner year for the tourism sector: the global economy continues to limp along, with more travellers choosing short-haul destinations as they tighten their household spending. And though the election may not take place until the end of the year, jitters about a fresh round of post-poll violence are already in the air, potentially putting off tourists.

This isn’t to say Kenya is now off limits, or will suffer disproportionately. But the drip-drip of bad news does have a cumulative effect. Instead of answering questions about “Oh hey, game parks!” when people learn I’m Kenyan, they now want to know if my family are safe (they are).

With inflation in the local economy hovering above 15% it is impossible to expect domestic tourism to pick up the slack, no matter how good growth is this year. We need those tourists, and the Kenyan Tourism Board need to be pulling out their A-game presentation packages to encourage them to return.

In a bitter irony, the terrorists al-Shabaab may have caused more damage than they could ever hope to achieve with bombs alone. By issuing public threats and scaring away tourists, they are already having a detrimental effect on one of the most important sectors of the economy.

2012. The year of the financial terrorist?

[Image by WhyteKnyte]

I can almost follow Goodluck Jonathan’s reasoning, if I bang my head against a brick wall and take some heavy-duty tranquilisers as a treat: subsidies bad (the IMF said so!). Infrastructure good, so divert fuel subsidy money to infrastructure projects. Winning!

Except… no. As Sokari Ekine points out in her thoughtful piece for New Internationalist,

for the masses the fuel subsidy is the only way they have benefited from Nigeria’s oil wealth.

Because despite their country’s vast oil wealth, the majority of Nigerians have not shared in the bounty, and continue to subsist on less than $2 USD a day. For them, the fuel subsidy was the one concrete of how refining had benefited Nigeria as a whole, rather than just a lucky few.

It gets worse: if fuel prices double overnight, the price of everything goes up overnight. Generators still need to be run, goods still need to be transported, and businesses cannot simply absorb those costs without passing some of them on to the customer. Thus, overnight, life in general got more expensive for ordinary Nigerians. No wonder there have already been riots in the streets.

Will the subsidy be reinstated? It’s difficult to say; Goodluck Jonathan is fighting several fronts in trying to govern his country and may choose this issue to be a line in the sand over which he will not compromise. But the people are angry, and as Sokari Ekine points out:

[...] protests over the fuel subsidy have already gone well beyond this single issue and are now encompassing all the pent up grievances Nigerians have had for years: lack of power, lack of development, but most of all the country’s rule by a corrupt kleptocracy.

#OccupyNigeria as the next grassroots movement to bring down a government? Don’t rule it out. All I can say with any certainty is that it can’t be much fun being the man in charge right now. Let’s hope Goodluck Jonathan has a decent therapist.

[Image by Al-Zoro]

My own shut-in tendencies have limited my exposure to my fellow Africans, but I know they’re around. There’s a very good group for entrepreneurs that has regular meetings in my city, the group Black Women in Europe does some awesome things for networking, and I have had drunken conversations in French with Congolese traders on the night bus home (another long story).

Nevertheless, when one comes to the ‘net to look for stories from the diaspora, it does seem that Africans have gravitated overwhelmingly to the “land of the free.” This is understandable on a number of levels, including historical, but it remains a source of curiosity to me that Africans who have eschewed the “traditional” emigration destinations appear to be so thin on the ground, at least in terms on online presence.

Is it that they don’t blog? Maybe they are too busy hustling in Shanghai or sealing deals in São Paulo to take the time to relate their thoughts and experiences to the rest of us. Maybe I’m not looking hard enough. I’ll admit I have been slack in seeking out new reading material, but I don’t think it’s all my fault. Online, the African diaspora appears, to my eyes at least, to be star-spangled in the majority.

Is this a problem? Well, one wouldn’t think so, but when we talk about the issues and problems that we face as Africans abroad, when the majority relate their experiences from a US-based perspective, it can bury or negate the quirks and idiosyncrasies that diasporans in other countries have to deal with.

This isn’t to say that all those in the USA should shut up and sit down. A plurality of voices is always better than a monolithic megaphone. But it would be nice to see more pluarity, from even more places, to expand our collective experience and terms of reference.

So, who do you know who is in a non-US locale? Anywhere exotic? If there’s an African blogger fighting the good fight in a place that is not a typical emigration destination, promote them in the comments, giving your reasons why.

[Image by AZRainman]

… financial stability risks have increased substantially – reversing some of the progress that had been made over the previous three years. So we are back in the danger zone.

Whoops! That might have something to do with a bunch of countries facing elections in the recent past or in the not-too-distant future, where promises to increase government spending and possibly raise taxes would be deeply unpopular with certain sections of the electorate. There’s also the fallout from various bailouts, where banks, saddled with greater capital requirements, are now loath to lend to businesses for fear of diminishing their profit margins.

Then there’s consumer spending. That looks freakishly buoyant for a global economy that is supposed to be on the brink of collapse, but I suppose that people who have jobs still have money to spend.

The solution by the sages in various financial centres is that we need more jobs. Because (at least in the US and UK) governments don’t want to be seen as spending more than absolutely necessary to keep the whole banana boat afloat, this generally means we’re in for another round of quantitative easing. Printing money! Now, this didn’t work before, because in the wake of their bailouts, major banks took the extra money that had been created and hoarded it. But there’s absolutely no reason why the same approach won’t work this time round, right?! Right?

Meanwhile, every man and his dog is betting against the euro, a currency formed from political rather than fiscal motives, and (again) because of those pesky elections, the eurozone’s finance minsters have been paralyzed into inaction.

Basically, it looks like the global economy is in for a bumpy ride. Is it the end of capitalism, as Marx predicted? Will it set off World War Three, as countries withdraw from trade agreements and seek succour in protectionism? Or are we all going to end up eating leaves and berries in the woods as the world descends into every-man-for-himself anarchy?

Who knows. But if you were trying to profit off uncertainty right now, I’d invest in the shares of battery manufacturers.

Apparently, you can write a constitution, but change it when it doesn’t suit your purposes. So we have the dropping of the clause that a third of MPs should be female. I know! Crazy, right? Surely the women are too busy being helpmeets to their husbands to bother themselves with the ugly business of running around campaigning for votes.

So the good men of the cabinet have made a decision. It’s too hard! And it’s not boys wanting to keep hold of all of their marbles; it’s for the good of the country!

Analysts say the government fears that if parties are forced to reserve seats for women it will cause serious divisions in their ranks.

C’mon ladies! Don’t put yourselves forward for political office. Be reasonable. Do you want to trigger another civil war?

God forbid that the various parties shoudl actually seek capable and effective women from within their ranks! What’s that you say? Women are only effective at making tea for cabinet meetings. Well, hi! How are things back in the Middle Ages?!

Of course, in a meritocracy, women would rise to the top like cream no matter what the circumstances. But is Kenyan politics really a meritocracy? Honestly? Can you imagine the best possible candidate being able to represent their constituency without having to make themselves a hostage to fortune within the party-political process?

The boys’ club has always been sewn up, and when the constitution was being drawn up, lip service was given to letting the girls have a go. Now, with elections on the horizon, the boys suddenly realise that there will be less patronage to spread around if the girls have some reserved seats. so they vote for a constitutional amendment.

Do the voters of Kenya get a referendum?

Let’s wait and see.

[Image by dr.coop]

Luckily, other members of GUT not only had wicked ninja-like coding skills, but also access to almost immediate hosting. Today, NotTheTalk is even better than the old talkboards were, and is providing me with my daily mix of snark, gossip, and tech chat without the hassle of wondering if I’m about to piss off a newspaper group.

And it’s the tech chat that I’m offering you. Check out the PC, Virus and Web Questions thread. All general sorts of questions, but answered for anyone who wants it and at absolutely no cost. Alternatively, check out the rest of the IT & Computers folder, to look at the range of techy topics that are being covered, by everyone from newbies to experts.

Setting up an account is just a matter of registering your chosen username and password. Done! And if you get bored of all the tech stuff, as you can see from all of the other folders listed, there is lots of other stuff to get stuck into. I’d avoid International for a while, though, at least until you’ve got the hang of the place.

NotTheTalk is a free-flowing forum for chat and debate about virtually any topic under the sun. For the most part, aside from the resident trolls, the members are friendly, sharp as tacks and very inventive with their swearing.  If you fancy a lively place to drop in while pretending to do some work, definitely join up. Especially if you have a lot of tech problems; we love solving those!

And I hated it. By Thor’s thundery hammer, I don’t think I can take one more webinar, e-book, online course or program. Don’t get me wrong: some of the learning materials on offer are incredibly detailed and informative; there’s a couple that could probably be used as set texts at a university level. But generally, I came away feeling not better informed after dipping my toes into the learning pool, but rather more confused. And more than a little irritated.

See, in order to sell you something, an “expert” (and they are all experts, at least to their mothers) has to be able to offer you something that no other “expert” can. Spend enough time researching the same niche or topic and you will end up with no more knowledge than a newbie, although your vocabulary of wanky management buzzwords will have increased. General norms and activities are “best practice”, and you can’t slap and “Exclusive!” sticker on that before sending it to Amazon as a Kindle download. What you end up with instead — if you’re lucky — is a smattering of conflicting advice, from which your still-clueless self is expected to pick the best morsels.

And that’s another thing: in order to appeal to as broad a market as possible, the advice also has be rather vague. I don’t care about generalisms; I can get that from reading any number of blogs and newsletters any day of the week. I want details, dammit! The more information, the better. But a course tailored exactly to my needs would naturally alienate a large section of the potential market. Thus, advice, no matter how useful in theory, does very little to address my particular problems.

This isn’t necessarily the experts’ fault, however. After all, they are following (I hope) their own advice and selling their products in what they consider to be the most effective fashion. More power to their elbows. But it is very frustrating, when trying to learn more about a topic, to feel as though you’re not getting the best value for money from a product, because it doesn’t provide you with the information or advice you were hoping for.

So what is to be done? It’s quite easy, actually: don’t read the experts. I don’t mean avoid them entirely, I just don’t think you should pay for any whizz-bang product that promises to teach you the wonders of the universe or how to conquer your business sector in a week. It will only leave you disappointed. There are still a hell of a lot of good business and tech blogs around, with forums and talkboards where your specific problems can be addressed without having to wade through several chapters of waffle. And if you do need further personalised advice at the end of all of that, I’m sure you’ll find an “expert” who would be happy to consult on a one-on-one basis in exchange for a fee.

(Image by MarshallsCarousel at DeviantArt)

Rather than panic stations though, I am at what I like to call Cold-Blooded Pragmatism. If I am going to get this project done, I’m going to need to reconfigure the way I work and do things a little bit differently for the next few days. Here’s a handy guide to how you can blitz a deadline without becoming a nervous wreck.

Cut out the distractions
If you’re anything like me, you don’t work on one task at a time; you may have several activities on the go at the time. But when it comes to crunch time, you don’t have time to be messing around with anything that doesn’t help you get the job done. So, if you usually check your emails while doing your latest sales report and composing LOLcat captions, cut out the email and kitty pictures. You’re only getting paid for one of those things so focus on that. The same goes for social media: give Twitter and Facebook a rest for now; the world will keep turning while you’re busy at work.

Decide what’s important
Unless the deadline you have to meet is relatively simple and routine, it probably has more than one component. Which is the most important? Which can be left until the last minute? Now is the time to prioritise: tackle the most important issues first before dealing with the small stuff. Don’t be tempted to try to do everything at once; that is one way to get distracted and led off-track by issues that could be dealt with later. Work your way down from “Critical” to “Desirable but not essential” and you stand less chance of missing out something important.

Torture yourself
Of course, now that you’re not working the way that you are used to, it can seem tempting to slip back into your old habits once you feel you’re into the swing of things. Don’t. Again, that way lies distraction. Believe me, I once ended up having a massive IRC argument about the merits of various French poets when I was supposed to be writing my thesis. All I had wanted to do was to look up a couple of references for my bibliography. So don’t go off-piste once you’re working. You have a deadline to meet, remember.

You can treat yourself in other ways, however. If you don’t normally work with music, turn your speakers up and get your finest motivational tunes on the go. If you usually never snack at your desk, have something tasty to hand. I personally like chocolate-covered coffee beans and gourmet crisps. And I dose my water bottle with a slug of Ribena too.

Procrastinate for profit
Being human beings, we do need breaks occasionally, so don’t beat yourself up trying to pull a 12-hour stretch of laser-sharp focus. Take breaks. Fifteen minutes every two hours seems to work for me. I step away from the laptop, stretch my legs a bit, maybe look over my to-do list to make sure I’m still on track and then get back to work. Often, I find taking a quick break will give me fresh insight into whatever problem I’ve been wrestling with and can give me a boost when I get back to my desk.

Ignore your inner perfectionist
There are certain people (control freaks, OCD sufferers, me) who will tweak and worry at a project way beyond the point of rationality because they want it to be perfect. This wastes time, and isn’t useful. After all, you’re working on your project in chunks aren’t you? There’s no point trying to make each part of it perfect before you bring the whole thing together. Get what needs to be done done; you can worry about turning it into a masterpiece once you have all your ducks in a row.

Build like Lego
Once you have completed the various parts of your project, you can start putting them together and making sure that they fit together as they should. Make sure that the way you’ve arranged the project flows coherently, add in any extra information that needs to be included and ensure that references to disparate parts of the project lead to where they are supposed to. Only you know who is the final audience for your work, so remember to tailor your final presentation to the people who will be seeing it.

Use a buffer
Yes, you’re on a deadline, and yes, you are suffering from low-level panic about whether or not you’ll meet it. But you still need to have at least a couple of hours away from your work before you sign off on it, just so you can come at it with fresh eyes and go over it once again, checking for any overlooked mistakes or grammar howlers. The amount of time you need to do any checking or proofreading will depend on the size of the project, but it is imperative that you don’t go straight from working on major aspects of your work to trying to go through it all again. Even if it just takes a short walk around the block, take some time to clear your head before doing your final checks.

Motivation
We all have our vices. Mine is a chilled glass of Pinot Grigio and pizza. It is my traditional “Yippee! I’ve finished work!” treat. While you are working, hold this in the back of your mind. If you make your deadline, you get your treat. Trust me, it’s a good motivator. I have slaved through the night for the promise of a 2004 Argentinian and a thin-crust meat feast with extra cheese and mushroom (yes, I am a cheap date). If you are working so hard, it only pays to reward yourself when you get the job done. Line up something special, but be ready to cancel it if you miss the deadline.

At school, university and in my professional life I have known the cold sweat and neck tension that comes with a seemingly insurmountable deadline. I have had sleepless nights, caffeine psychosis, tearful panics and even one unfortunate incident involving a librarian and a malfunctioning photocopier that I don’t wish to elaborate on further. Now, as a nominal grown-up, I have found a system that works for me. And hopefully, it will work for you too.

[Image by JaimeLondonBoy]